Man the hell on wheels episode, was so crazy made me think about how many people I’ve loved have come in and out of my life. I miss my family my friends and loves that aren’t in my life anymore. I have taking many things for granted but I’m trying to change that. I’m trying to look at each day each moment as something beautiful and strangeness in life. Also the beauty in life as well, to many people just over look everything
I had an amazing night the other night with one of my ex girlfriends (alexa), we talked about everything. It was so nice talking to a beautiful woman that I think is attractive and intelligent. See her and talking to her made me remember why I fell in love with her. She is an amazing woman may far. I’m thankful that I got to share parts of my life with her. I can only hope that we can stay friends and keep in connected. Everything from music to ideas and her silliness and carefree action is why I miss having a connection. Well not the only reason I know the women i have loved in my past won’t just come back into my life and i guess i’m fine with that realization. But I guess i really miss the kind of love that i shared with a select few. I miss the love that was just unquestioned. The kind of love where I lay awake in bed from falling asleep and saying to myself, wow this woman is just amazing, and is something else. I will still love a few of them, but i will never throw myself at them asking them to come back. No matter the amount of love i have for them, I will never be that annoying ex anymore. They have moved on and they have found new loves that they are madly in love with the only thing I will do is pray that it all works out. Because I want them to be happy and I understand that loving someone so much sometimes means letting them go so they can find that one person that they are meant to be with. The hardest thing is taking a step back and getting them move on. Well that is enough for tonight, I will always hold these amazing women in my heart and pray for their happiness, even though that may sound stupid.